knapp's relational stages
"One of the best-known models of relational stages was developed by communication researcher Mark Knapp." (Adler, Ronald B., and Russell F. Proctor. Interpersonal Communication. Australia: Wadsworth/Cengage Learning, 2011. 276. Print.) As authors continue, "It breaks the rise and fall of relationships into ten stages, contained in the two broad phases of 'coming together' and 'coming apart'." |
coming together stages
"The first stage in Coming Together is Initiating. This is the initial contact with strangers, where first impressions are formed based on appearance, clothing, and conduct. While impressions may not be accurate, they form the basis of screening and filtering in which people decide whether they wish to develop the relationship further.
Stage two is Experimenting. Here people get better acquainted by engaging in small talk. They try to find something in common e.g. interests, and verify first impressions. If the experience is pleasant they will explore some more; if not the relationship stays here at the acquaintance level.
The next stage is Intensifying, where people test the waters by sharing some personal information to see if it will be reciprocated. Defenses are lowered in self-disclosure, and forms of address become familiar. There is increased physical touch and commitment, passing from casual friends to serious friends.
The fourth stage is Integrating. At this stage the lives of the two become more intertwined and the “I” becomes “we”. They share things in common, and influence each other’s ideas, likes and dislikes. Others view them as a couple. Intimacy is increased.
The final stage in Coming Together is Bonding. They declare their commitment and exclusivity to each other formally and publicly. In the case of romantic relationships, they get married and share the future together. For business, companies form a partnership or merge together." RayKLiu. N.p., n.d. Web. 28 June 2014. <http://raykliu.wordpress.com/2013/02/23/knapps-relationship-model-coming-together/>.
Stage two is Experimenting. Here people get better acquainted by engaging in small talk. They try to find something in common e.g. interests, and verify first impressions. If the experience is pleasant they will explore some more; if not the relationship stays here at the acquaintance level.
The next stage is Intensifying, where people test the waters by sharing some personal information to see if it will be reciprocated. Defenses are lowered in self-disclosure, and forms of address become familiar. There is increased physical touch and commitment, passing from casual friends to serious friends.
The fourth stage is Integrating. At this stage the lives of the two become more intertwined and the “I” becomes “we”. They share things in common, and influence each other’s ideas, likes and dislikes. Others view them as a couple. Intimacy is increased.
The final stage in Coming Together is Bonding. They declare their commitment and exclusivity to each other formally and publicly. In the case of romantic relationships, they get married and share the future together. For business, companies form a partnership or merge together." RayKLiu. N.p., n.d. Web. 28 June 2014. <http://raykliu.wordpress.com/2013/02/23/knapps-relationship-model-coming-together/>.
coming apart stages
"The first stage of a troubling relationship is Differentiating, the opposite of Integrating. Instead of merging identities and focusing on “we” rather than “I”, the couple starts to feel stifled and begin to assert their differences, reverting from “we” to “I”. Each wants space as stress develops in the relationship, with increased fighting and conflict.
The second stage is Circumscribing. Here the couple is pulling apart but tries to preserve the relationship in public, so they set limits and boundaries on both the quantity and quality of communication. Sensitive topics are avoided to give an appearance of harmony on the surface. They also start having separate friends and activities.
Stage three is Stagnating, or going through the motions. The couple acts as if nothing had changed, but in fact the relationship is deteriorating and there is no joy, enthusiasm, or interest. They avoid talking about their relationship because they knew what will be said, which will lead to more conflict. The relationship is but a shadow of its former self.
The next stage is Avoiding. The distance between the couple is elevated from the emotional to the physical level. They avoid seeing each other to keep awkward interactions to a minimum. One partner may go out while the other is in. They keep different routines and take separate vacations. At this stage the relationship is going down a slippery slope of separation.
The final stage is Terminating. Instead of trying to salvage the relationship, one or both parties wants out and desire to go their separate ways, ending the relationship officially. The parting of ways may be on good or bad terms."
Pastor Ray. "Knapp's Relationship Model - Coming Apart." RayKLiu. N.p., n.d. Web. 28 June 2014. <http://raykliu.wordpress.com/2013/02/23/knapps-relationship-model-coming-apart/>. On this video we can see how couple goes throug different stages of relatiobship (by msaqlain's channel).
The second stage is Circumscribing. Here the couple is pulling apart but tries to preserve the relationship in public, so they set limits and boundaries on both the quantity and quality of communication. Sensitive topics are avoided to give an appearance of harmony on the surface. They also start having separate friends and activities.
Stage three is Stagnating, or going through the motions. The couple acts as if nothing had changed, but in fact the relationship is deteriorating and there is no joy, enthusiasm, or interest. They avoid talking about their relationship because they knew what will be said, which will lead to more conflict. The relationship is but a shadow of its former self.
The next stage is Avoiding. The distance between the couple is elevated from the emotional to the physical level. They avoid seeing each other to keep awkward interactions to a minimum. One partner may go out while the other is in. They keep different routines and take separate vacations. At this stage the relationship is going down a slippery slope of separation.
The final stage is Terminating. Instead of trying to salvage the relationship, one or both parties wants out and desire to go their separate ways, ending the relationship officially. The parting of ways may be on good or bad terms."
Pastor Ray. "Knapp's Relationship Model - Coming Apart." RayKLiu. N.p., n.d. Web. 28 June 2014. <http://raykliu.wordpress.com/2013/02/23/knapps-relationship-model-coming-apart/>. On this video we can see how couple goes throug different stages of relatiobship (by msaqlain's channel).
why we form relationships
"An interpersonal relationship is an association between two or more people that may range from fleeting to enduring. A relationship is normally viewed as a connection between individuals, such as a romantic or intimate relationship, or a parent–child relationship, or in a form of a group interaction, such as the relation between a pastor and his congregation, an uncle and a family, or a mayor and a town. Finally, groups or even nations may have relations with each other. When in a healthy relationship, happiness is shown and the relationship is now a priority. Interpersonal relationships are formed in the context of social, cultural and other influences. The context can vary from family or kinship relations, friendship, marriage, relations with associates, work, clubs, neighborhoods, and places of worship. They may be regulated by law, custom, or mutual agreement, and are the basis of social groups and society as a whole" (MasterKeys).
Adler & Proctor offer "explanations for why we form communication with some people and not with others" (276).
- Appearance
- Similarity
- Complementarity
- Competency
- Proximity
- Disclosure
- Reciprocal attraction
- Rewards
Here is a presentation by Professor Tamara Arrington, University of Kentucky which illustrates these concepts.
Please click on the image to see the next slide.
Please click on the image to see the next slide.
Everybody loves Raymond. Here is a hilarious example what relationships can be when. Proximity and similarity help to establishing the relationships for both parties.
intimacy in relationships
dimensions in intimacy
An important issue in interpersonal relationships is the appropriate type and degree of self disclosure: honest, revealing messages about the self that are intentionally that are intentionally directed toward others (Adler & Proctor 334).
The first dimension is physical. Examples may be many: child in the womb, sexual intimacy.
A second dimension is intellectual connection and understanding. People are exchanging ideas and thought and opinions, inspiring each other
A third intimacy dimension is emotional connection. People share emotions and feelings that are important for them and get the feeling that they are soul mates
A fourth dimension is sharing activities together. It can be anything: working in the office, playing computer games, or cooking together.
In this video by Wicker we can watch illustartion to these concept. Partners express their care through different aspects of their behavior, actions and body language.
The first dimension is physical. Examples may be many: child in the womb, sexual intimacy.
A second dimension is intellectual connection and understanding. People are exchanging ideas and thought and opinions, inspiring each other
A third intimacy dimension is emotional connection. People share emotions and feelings that are important for them and get the feeling that they are soul mates
A fourth dimension is sharing activities together. It can be anything: working in the office, playing computer games, or cooking together.
In this video by Wicker we can watch illustartion to these concept. Partners express their care through different aspects of their behavior, actions and body language.
masculine and feminine intimacy styles
"The biological sex isn't most significant factor in shaping how people express intimacy. The most important factor is gender" (Adler & Proctor 304).
Woman disclosure more than men, the information they disclose is more likely to be personal and to involve feelings and emotions. They prone to express this through personal talk.
Men are more likely to share positive feelings. Personal disclosure is not that important. Men prefer to share activities and show appreciation through actions and acts of service. It is the way of how men establish closeness.
Woman disclosure more than men, the information they disclose is more likely to be personal and to involve feelings and emotions. They prone to express this through personal talk.
Men are more likely to share positive feelings. Personal disclosure is not that important. Men prefer to share activities and show appreciation through actions and acts of service. It is the way of how men establish closeness.
influences on intimacy
Cultural differences may affect interpersonal communications in many ways. For example, Western cultures are individualistic; Asian cultures are mostly collectivistic; some cultures may be religiously oriented, etc. The greatest differences between Western/ North American culture is that self-disclosure level is especially high in mainstream US society. Of course, not all people are equally disclosing. However the general tendency shows the highest level of openness. Americans are also very likely to initiate communication with the stranger, whereas in Asian cultures people prefer to wait to be formally introduced.
In this video (By brentmmbrown) we can see that cultural differences may lead to possible misunderstandings, cause frustrations and prevent people from further effective communication. |
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the limits of intimacy
How many best friends can we have? Can we have all people we know as the best friend? Obviously not. The close relationships with highly intense intimacy are demanding and resource-consuming; we probably can't afford to have more than six close relationships at the same time. Too much closeness may not be wanted; paradoxically, active seeking for more intimacy may diminish the overall quality of the relationships. By the way, there is its own pleasure in more distant relationships; they are not worse, they are different.
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